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MATE 30th Annual Conference
28-31 March, 2009 - Tetouan
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» glad to join mate forum
Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:16 pm by aziz4u

» Amazing English!
Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:04 am by aziz4u

» There's time to LAUGH, too!
Thu Jan 06, 2011 2:03 pm by aziz4u

» Taroudant TEFL in-service training workshops
Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:48 pm by aziz4u

» Urgent - MATE 6th ICT4ELT Conference Announcement 2010
Wed Jun 09, 2010 5:39 pm by Admin

» Play and report.
Mon Apr 19, 2010 6:23 am by aziz4u

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There's time to LAUGH, too!

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There's time to LAUGH, too!

Post by aziz4u on Fri Oct 29, 2010 1:46 pm

These made me smile, too; so I thought that I would share them with you. I can't take credit since I don't know who was the first one to post them on the web.



Kids are quick.



Teacher: Heather, go to the map and find North America.
Heather: Here it is.
Teacher: Good. Now class, who can tell me who discovered America?
Class: Heather




Teacher: Thomas, how do you spell crocodile?
Thomas: k-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l
Teacher: No, that's not right.
Thomas: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.




Teacher: Thomas, how do you always manage to get so dirty?
Thomas: I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.




Teacher: Heather, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Heather: A teacher.




Teacher: Jenna, name one important thing that we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Jenna: Me!

aziz4u
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Age : 62
Location : Meknes - Morocco
Profession : EFL teacher
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Re: There's time to LAUGH, too!

Post by Moussaid_Rachid on Sat Dec 25, 2010 6:30 pm

Thanks for the cool jokes.

Here are mine

A teacher catches sight of an absent-minded student and then asks him:

Teacher: are you ALRIGHT John?!
Student: No, teacher, I'm HALF right and HALF left. Smile


Jane: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Jane: Your name on this report card.


Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail".


Son: "Daddy, why did you put your thumb impression on my progress report instead of your signature?"

Father: "I don't want your teacher to think that anyone with your marks could possibly have a father who can read or write."



Moussaid_Rachid
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Male Number of posts : 29
Age : 42
Location : Taroudant - Morocco
Profession : EFL Teacher
Points : 41
Registration date : 2010-01-22

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Re: There's time to LAUGH, too!

Post by aziz4u on Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:01 pm

LOL.
Nice ones, Mr. Moussaid; may I call you Rachid?
Keep on.

aziz4u
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Location : Meknes - Morocco
Profession : EFL teacher
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Re: There's time to LAUGH, too!

Post by Moussaid_Rachid on Sat Jan 01, 2011 2:29 pm

Sure, Rachid will suffice.

Thanks

Moussaid_Rachid
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Male Number of posts : 29
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Re: There's time to LAUGH, too!

Post by aziz4u on Thu Jan 06, 2011 2:03 pm

Khouya Rachid, you can call me Aziz.


Laugh, and the class laughs with you.
But you get detention alone !!


Mother: What did you learn in school today?
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!


Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing, Miss.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!

Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home.
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!


TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !

TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round.
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !

TEACHER : What shape is the world in?
Pupil : Rotten !

TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it?
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !

TEACHER :What's your name ?
Class : Ravi
TEACHER : You should say "Sir".
Pupil : OK, Sir Ravi !



TEACHER : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pupil : Life imprisonment !

TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family.
Pupil : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !

TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon ?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night !

TEACHER : Ravi, can you find me Australia on the map please ?
Pupil :There it is
TEACHER : Now, Ravi, who discovered Australia ?
Pupil : I did !

TEACHER :What kind of birds do you find in captivity?
Pupil : Jailbirds !

TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil :Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ?
Pupil : Twins !

TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !

TEACHER :: I despair, Ravi, how do you manage to get so many things wrong in a day ?
Pupil : Because I always get here early sir !

TEACHER : What do we do with crude oil ?
Pupil : Teach it some manners !

Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!

_____________________________________________
Some quick replies between Teacher & Pupil:

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?
He had a bee in his suit of armour !

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights (=> nights)!

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see (=> his eyes are closed!)!


If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!

Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!

Credits to the original uploader.

aziz4u
Bronze Member
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Male Number of posts : 194
Age : 62
Location : Meknes - Morocco
Profession : EFL teacher
Points : 357
Registration date : 2008-12-23

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Re: There's time to LAUGH, too!

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